A conversation I had last year whilst stood in yet another queue at the airport

Background info:  In Australia you have to pay for bank accounts.  They also charge you for using any cash machine other than the ones belonging to your own bank, and for a variety of other day to day bank activities.

The story:  I phoned my bank, and at the end of the call, they moved into their sales pitch.

“Have you heard about our great new savings account deal?”

I explained that no, no I hadn’t.

“it’s a free account, there are no monthly charges, and no charges to transfer money between this and your main account, so it’s a very useful account to have”

I double checked that there would be no charges, and no fees, it wouldn’t cost me anything

“That’s right, there are no charges, and no fees, it won’t cost you anything”

So I agreed to get the account, I doubted I’d use it as I’m not real good at saving money.  But I’m new in this country, and need to build up a good credit profile.  After signing me up the rep said he just needed to read through the terms and conditions

“mumble mumble .. savings account .. mumble mumble.. no monthly fee.. mumble mumble.. transfer fees will be applied to your other account.. mumble mumble”

I interrupted, and asked him to repeat that last bit

“mumble mumble..”

the bit before that..

“transfer fees will be applied to your other account”

I pointed out that a number of times in the conversation so far he’d told me that transfer fees would NOT be applied.

“yes, that’s right”

I made a puzzled noise

“Transfer fees won’t be applied to THIS account.  Not at all.  Not ever.  They’ll be applied to your other account instead”.

Brilliant!

I muttered about him being a big fat liar. Realising that I was onto his scam, but not content to give up the fight, he then tried to catch me out in a different way.
“You won’t ALWAYS be charged a transfer fee, it’s only for assisted transfers”
I asked what one of those was
“An assisted transfer is one where you phone up and ask a member of staff to transfer the money, or you go into the branch.  Basically one where there’s human interraction.  If you do it online, or through the automated phoneline then there are no charges”.  He paused for breath.  “Right, that’s your account all set up and ready to go.  Would you like me to transfer some money now?”
That’d be an assisted transfer right?
“yes”
Then no, no I wouldn’t.

Due to a quirk in the billing system, I have free electricity until tomorrow.

Sleeping with all the aircons on tonight!

I unpacked my suitcase last week, four months after arriving in Australia.

Yup, I finally found somewhere to live!

And it’s awesome.  A three story townhouse, two big bedrooms, two bathrooms (an ensuite from my room), two balconies (one from my bedroom, and one from the living room).  Five minutes walk from the beach, 20 minutes walk from the city centre.  I love it!

it also has geckos.  They live in the gap behind the cooker and come out at night when they think i’m in bed.  I catch them hanging out on my walls and ceiling if I come upstairs late on.  One of them always runs for cover when he sees me, the other freezes hoping i don’t see him there.  I love my new geckos.

for anyone who’s interested, here’s a few pics of my new place!

The last few mornings when I’ve been leaving for work, there’s been a spider lurking.  Waiting for me.  Right outside my front door.

Being in Australia, it could be a deadly killer death spider, or a harmless little fella.  I have no idea.  But every night he builds a big web in front of my door, and uses my ute to anchor it.

Every morning I break the web as I drive the ute away.  Or have to break it to just get to the vehicle.

The spider just hangs there, but I can see the resentment in it’s glare.

Yesterday I decided I needed to do something about the spider before it decided to do something about me.  I set down my spider-getting equipment by the front door, where I could grab them on my way out the next morning.

With my plan vaguelly established in my head, I went to bed, looking for a good nights sleep before the oncoming arachnoid battle.

This morning I woke up, fully refreshed, and ready to rumble.  Opened my eyes.  And saw, sat on the pillow about a foot from my head, the spider.

Lurking.  Waiting for me.  I could see the resentment in it’s glare.

We fought, I won. (I took full advantage of my extra weight and reach)(ninJA)(alltho I did suffer a nasty bite to my leg which continues to swell up as the day goes on).

Australia is full of spiders, I know I can’t prove it was the same one from the front door.  But I think it speaks for itself that when I left for work twenty minutes later, there was no spider outside the front door.