AQA (Any Question Answered) is quite a well known company who will answer any question you text to them.

From their website:

Every question is read and answered by a person, one of hundreds who work for us. If they don’t know the answer, they know where to look.

They’re used by millions of people for those niggling questions you need to know the answer to when you’re drunk.

Like, “what does PickledPixie/Talth/Allen do for a living?”

This weekend there was much speculation on the question, much guesswork, and much wrongness, eventually someone texted to ask AQA, who said:

Allen David Staniforth is a Leisure Club Hypnotist

And where did AQA source that particular piece of misinformation?  There’s only one place on the internet peddling that kind of nonsense.  They got it from the wiki I halfheartedly added to this blog a few years ago!  http://www.monkeysandpirates.com/wikipirates/PickledPixie/.

So when drunken geeks don’t know the answer, they turn to the experts at AQA.  When the experts don’t know the answer, they turn to monkeysandpirates.com.

Brilliant!

Worklad told us today that whilst he believes in God, he’s a little confused about Jesus.

Further enquiry revealed that there are two Jesus’s.  There’s ‘Jesus’, and there’s ‘Jesus of Nazareth’.

According to worklad, they’re both 5’ 11”, and both originally from Jerusalem, but that’s where the similarities end.

‘Jesus of Nazareth’ was played by Robert Powell, whereas ‘Jesus’ was in The Bible.

...

It’s worth pointing out again that worklad failed his Religious Education GCSE.

After a drunken night out, I woke early on Sunday, and put on a movie.  This was disturbed by a knocking at the door.

Outside was a girl who’d been crying, surrounded by a small angry mob.

“Does Alexa” (my lodger) “live here?”

I confirmed that she does.

“Is my boyfriend in bed with her right now?”

um..

I booked my flight today!

omg it’s really happening..

I fly from Manchester on the morning of Wednesday 8th October, and arrive in Brisbane on the Friday morning.  Then just need to sort out an internal flight from Brisbane to Townsville.

The actual flight time is only about 20 hours, but I have a 15 hour stop at Singapore airport which means I get to go spend a day in Singapore, yay!

I love my job, I work with some ace people, I get to do lots of interesting and sometimes exciting things, and I get paid for it.  But after almost ten years in Warrington, I’m moving on.

To Townsville.  But you’ll know that already if you’ve been reading these posts in the right order.

A few months ago, (actually, quite a few months ago now), an advert was circulated round the various UK Trading Standards offices for a couple of jobs in Australia.  The one I kinda liked the look of was for a Senior Trading Standards Officer in Townsville.

I applied, and then heard nothing more

Which is surprising, as re-reading my cv, I seem almost superhuman..

I am a motivated and professional officer, with 9 years of experience in this field, as well as over 6 years training to attain the high level of qualification which is statutorily required to fulfil this role.  I currently work well as an integral part of a dynamic, highly publicised and award winning team at Warrington Trading Standards, and I am looking for the opportunity to advance my career, and to seek new challenges whilst remaining within the career path to which I am committed.

I’d give me a job!

But I heard nothing more, for ages.  Then they invited me to an interview.

Sadly they weren’t flying me over there, but doing it via conference call.  I spent an hour at some unearthly hour in the morning (9am) being interviewed via telephone by 3 Australians.  After a number of other stages, including further phone calls, and written tests, I was offered the job!

3 months later, and I’m now all Visa’d up, and am starting on October 13th!

The job is basically centred on just the Weights & Measures part of what I currently do, so there’ll be less kicking down doors, raiding premises, chasing away rogue traders etc.  But it’ll be Weights & Measures.. in Australia.

A few quick facts about the new job

Where I work now, there are 4 officers to cover Warrington.  In Australia, there’s just me to cover an area 9 times the size of Wales.

It’s a promotion to a ‘senior officer’ position

My closest bosses will be 1000 miles away in Brisbane

One of the areas I’ll cover is called Mornington Island, to get there I drive 1000km inland to Mount Isa, then turn north to the coast.  Mornington Island is an Aborigine colony, and nobody is allowed to step ashore without first seeking written permission from the Aboriginie Council 6 weeks in advance.

My office is about 300 meters from the beach.