Saturday . 5/7/3 . 19.30 hours . Sandbach
It was my birthday, I turned 30 at 7.30pm
Nearly 32 hours earlier however I received a surprise..
Friday . 4/7/3 . 12.00 hours . My House . Sandbach
There was a knock on my door, opening it I found:
They’d come to stay the weekend, it was a surprise they’d been planning for weeks with Claire.
I had a fan..tastic weekend, some of the highlights are listed below:
Friday . 4/7/3 . 16.00 hours . Kwik Save . Sandbach
We went to buy alcohol, Mojo suggested we spend 40 quid on a bottle of Tia Maria, a bottle of Baileys, and a bottle of Archers. We did just that.
Friday . 4/7/3 . 16.05 hours . My House . Sandbach
Arriving back at mine, we realised we didn’t actually want any of the drinks we’d bought
Friday . 4/7/3 . 16.20 hours . A pub . Sandbach
Lots of drinking, mixed with some mooching
Friday . 4/7/3 . 18.30 hours . Kwik Save . Sandbach
Back in Kwik Save, buying more alcohol, this time stuff we actually wanted to drink 
Saturday . 5/7/3 . 15.00 hours . The Donkey Derby . Sandbach
We visited the Sandbach Donkey Derby, whilst there:
I met a donkey called Ted
Me and Mojo paid 50p each to throw golf balls at crockery, it was great fun, we both smashed a lot of crockery, and I got asked not to come back
I suspect the stall was actually intended for kids (the person stood next to me in the photo gives a good indication of the age of everyone else in the queue)
We watched some ferret racing, the one pictured came last.
Saturday . 5/7/3 . 19.12 hours . The Railway Station . Sandbach
We missed the train
Saturday . 5/7/3 . 20.00 hours . The Edgerton Arms . Chelford
Our venue for the evening, Claire works here.
We ate, (after an initial vegetable incident), we drank, lots, and Claire brought me out a surprise birthday cake, to the chorus of Claire’s workmate singing HAPPY Birt-h-d-.... before it turned into an embarrassed mumble
I got very drunk, I had a great night
Saturday . 5/7/3 . 23.37 hours . The Railway Station . Chelford
We made it to the last train in time.
Sunday . 6/7/3 . 10.00 hours . The Outside my House . Sandbach
Pixie and Mojo went home :(
I had such a great time, I don’t get to see Pixie and Mojo too often, it was fun
Thanks for coming down guys
previously on less than daily..
Friday . 27/6/03 . 20.14 hours . Knutsford
I found out Pixie and Mojo were coming, when they arrived I tried to act surprised, but did really badly
Saturday . 5/7/3 . 20.05 hours . The Edgerton Arms . Chelford
Sarah (friend of Claire’s) “Hi Graeme, Happy Birthday, I was in on your surprise (the cake) ...oh you don’t know about that yet?, sorry”
-earlier that day Sarah had dropped the cake so it got squished a little
Having phoned my dad to check, I can confirm that until 7.30pm tonight, I am still in my twenties
In the 1980’s Sarah Greene was one of the presenters of the Saturday morning show Saturday Superstore, and everybody I knew fancied her, and despite what she claims I didn’t pinch her bum .. (that’s more mojo’s style)
Here’s our story
Every Mayday bank holiday in Sandbach we have an Elizabethan Market, which is basically an excuse to close the roads, put up loads of tombola stalls, and for a few shopkeepers and stall holders to dress in Elizabethan costume. They also roast a pig in the town square. There is always one stall run by the cubs, one by the brownies, one by the Rotary club etc.
The producers of Saturday Superstore must have heard about this and thought they’d struck gold, “once in a life time televisual opportunity” I can imagine they probably said, so they sent an outside broadcast unit to film it, along with Sarah Greene and her co-presenter, ex-Radio One dj Mike Reid to do the talky bits.
They parked their OB unit (technical term for the van they arrived in) in a secluded carpark, and sent out a camera crew to film the festivities, whilst the presenters stayed in the van… it’s not relevent to this story, but the camera crew caught my mate Noel Scott picking his nose, and broadcast it to the nation..
Meanwhile, back at the cub stall (one of those with lots of pieces of string, some of which have bottles attached, if you pull string with a bottle on it, you win the bottle) I was innocently minding my own business when I heard a rumour that Sarah Greene and Mike Reid were in the secluded carpark, so, in true cubscout style, I went prepared with piece of paper and no pen to the carpark to seek out an autograph.
I approached the van and indeed the rumours Had been true, inside were the two most famous people I’d ever met.
I nervously said hi, they agreed. I asked for an autograph, then realised I had no pen.
Not to worry, Sarah Greene had one, it was on the back seat of the van, she turned her back to me, leant over the back seat to get it… and Mike Reid pinched her bum.
She jumped, which I guess is to be expected, and turned around glaringly…
Mike Reid pointed at me and said “it was him”
git
There was me, little me, 10 years old, in a cub scout uniform, the picture of innocence, frozen to the spot in terror, and being set up by a celebrity.
Sarah was very kind to me, she didn’t press charges, she even signed my autograph, and promised to come and see me on my stall full of bottles.
She never came, I suspect to this day she hasn’t forgiven me.
Sarah Greene - nice bum
Mike Reid - git
I got an email from a mate the other day with the subject line The Greatest Photo Ever Taken, it was the type of email that people forward to everyone in their address book, who then do the same, but nobody stops to edit out all the >>>>>>>>>>>>at the start of each line.
As a general rule, emails of this type are crap, the poor formatting makes them irritating to read, and there’s usually a line at the end threatening to turn you green if you don’t forward it to five mates within ten minutes…
But for once I dind’t mind this, it actually was The Greatest Photo Ever Taken.
And here it is
I now have this on my wall at work.. with a little post-it note pointing at Gary Coleman saying “actual size”
This is one for Pixie..
I’m in my twenties
