In the 1980’s Sarah Greene was one of the presenters of the Saturday morning show Saturday Superstore, and everybody I knew fancied her, and despite what she claims I didn’t pinch her bum .. (that’s more mojo’s style)

Here’s our story

Every Mayday bank holiday in Sandbach we have an Elizabethan Market, which is basically an excuse to close the roads, put up loads of tombola stalls, and for a few shopkeepers and stall holders to dress in Elizabethan costume.  They also roast a pig in the town square.  There is always one stall run by the cubs, one by the brownies, one by the Rotary club etc.

The producers of Saturday Superstore must have heard about this and thought they’d struck gold, “once in a life time televisual opportunity” I can imagine they probably said, so they sent an outside broadcast unit to film it, along with Sarah Greene and her co-presenter, ex-Radio One dj Mike Reid to do the talky bits.

They parked their OB unit (technical term for the van they arrived in) in a secluded carpark, and sent out a camera crew to film the festivities, whilst the presenters stayed in the van… it’s not relevent to this story, but the camera crew caught my mate Noel Scott picking his nose, and broadcast it to the nation..

Meanwhile, back at the cub stall (one of those with lots of pieces of string, some of which have bottles attached, if you pull string with a bottle on it, you win the bottle) I was innocently minding my own business when I heard a rumour that Sarah Greene and Mike Reid were in the secluded carpark, so, in true cubscout style, I went prepared with piece of paper and no pen to the carpark to seek out an autograph.

I approached the van and indeed the rumours Had been true, inside were the two most famous people I’d ever met.

I nervously said hi, they agreed.  I asked for an autograph, then realised I had no pen.

Not to worry, Sarah Greene had one, it was on the back seat of the van, she turned her back to me, leant over the back seat to get it… and Mike Reid pinched her bum.

She jumped, which I guess is to be expected, and turned around glaringly…

Mike Reid pointed at me and said “it was him”

git

There was me, little me, 10 years old, in a cub scout uniform, the picture of innocence, frozen to the spot in terror, and being set up by a celebrity.

Sarah was very kind to me, she didn’t press charges, she even signed my autograph, and promised to come and see me on my stall full of bottles.

She never came, I suspect to this day she hasn’t forgiven me.

Sarah Greene - nice bum
Mike Reid - git

I got an email from a mate the other day with the subject line The Greatest Photo Ever Taken, it was the type of email that people forward to everyone in their address book, who then do the same, but nobody stops to edit out all the >>>>>>>>>>>>at the start of each line.

As a general rule, emails of this type are crap, the poor formatting makes them irritating to read, and there’s usually a line at the end threatening to turn you green if you don’t forward it to five mates within ten minutes…

But for once I dind’t mind this, it actually was The Greatest Photo Ever Taken.

And here it is

I now have this on my wall at work.. with a little post-it note pointing at Gary Coleman saying “actual size”

This is one for Pixie..

I’m in my twenties

When we went to see Bonjovi, they were playing at Old Trafford, home of Manchester United Football club.

For those of you who don’t follow football, you don’t realise just how much this hurt (as a Liverpool supporter).

but Bon Jovi rock.. (they have to, it’s their job!), so I could put up with it. 

Whilst we were there however Claire wanted to look in the Man Utd museum.. normally I’d refuse point blank to be seen dead in there (it’s like rubbing salt in the wounds of our poor season)..

but her great grandad was twice manager of Man United in the 30’s and 40’s, and he died in the Munich Air Disaster that nearly wiped out the team in 1958, so I couldn’t really refuse to let her go look up her gt grandad whilst we were there.

The museum was closed (yay)
I said I’d take her back there on Saturday to look round. (see, I’m a great boyfriend, next time you see Claire, be sure to remind her of that)

She wouldn’t let me wear my Liverpool shirt.

Anyway we looked around the museum, then got some food from the Man Utd restaurant ... mine was horrible - I suspect they saw through my Mancunion disguise - gits

I can’t remember where I was going with this post, other than name dropping that Claire is a direct descendant of a football manager (albeit Man U), which is kinda cool, ooh and to mention Marc and his brick.

Marc works with me in Warrington, he is a big Man U fan, and takes a lot of stick from the Liverpool contingent.

One of the many things he gets stick about is the £50 he paid for a brick…

Man U were repaving one of the pavements outside the ground, and gave their fans the once in a lifetime ‘opportunity’ to purchase a brick in the pavement for £50, which would then have their name on it.

Marc and his dad paid £25 each to share a brick.  this was about 3 years ago, and the brick has become something of a running gag around the workplace.

On Saturday, I found his brick!

Well worth £50 - cough

The Saturday before last I went to see Eminem doing his Anger Management Tour with D12, 50 Cents, Cyprus Hill and Snoop Dogg (see, I am Street).

It didn’t say on the tickets what time the show started, so we (was going with my girlfriend Claire) mooched around a bit in the morning, at about 4pm we got to mine, picked up the tickets, and checked the website to try to find a starting time ... didn’t give a starttime.. but gates opened at 2pm.. 2 hours ago, doh!

The show was in Milton Keynes at the National bowl, which meant a two and a half hour drive according to multimap.. which equates to about an hour and a half with me driving.

We got there about 6 (stuck in traffic), followed the signs for the “Official Bowl Carpark”, parked up, and followed the crowds.. on the 40 minute walk from the carpark to the venue!!

6.45 arrived, having missed Cyprus hill .. but mah, Snoop Dogg was just starting.. but mah, only wanted to see Eminem.

Eventually Eminem came on, did about 45 minutes (which included bringing on D12 and 50 Cents (mah)), then left.

He was very dissapointing, didn’t really put on a show, and he sounded identical to his recordings.. am sure he must have sang live, but ... mah

Took 3 hours to find my car afterwards…

typical conversation

me: how do we get back to the Official Bowl Carpark?
policeman: there are over 20 Official Bowl Carparks, which one are you in?
me: [looks blank]

gits

!

Then took 3 hours to drive home, stoopid Eminem

Last Thursday however I went to see Bon Jovi in Manchester

only a 35 minute drive (including getting stuck in traffic)

Bon Jovi played for two and a half hours, were great, got the crowd involved, and we found my car almost immediately afterwards ... also it hadn’t been clamped despite what the signs threatened!

Bon Jovi are great.

here’s my view from the Eminem concert

and here’s my view from Bon Jovi

Stoopid Eminem