I haven’t posted for a while, nothing new there, but this time I have an excuse I’ve been in Belgium!

There was plenty of Blogworthy material in Belgium, some of which I’ll mention below:

I told the worst joke in the world:

Claire: The cows here are different from back home
Me: Yeah?
Claire: These ones aren’t Friesian
Me: No they’re probably pretty hot
(long silence)
Claire: You suck

("Friesian", “Freezing” - do you see what I did there)

Missed photo opportunity

Claire nearly fell off her chair when she saw a dog driving a car .. took a moment to remember the steering wheel is on the LEFT in Belgian cars.

Speaking slowly and loudly in English

We were staying with Claires Aunt Beth, and Uncle Ferdinand.
The village we stayed in wasn’t a touristy place, so not everyone spoke English.  Flemish is the local language.
Beth gave us advice on making ourselves understood:

“Speak slowly and loudly in English”

Whilst this is normally the thing NOT to do.. apparantly in Belgium it actually does work.
Flemish is SO similar to English, that it’s very soundalike.

Half Price is Halve Prijce
Thank you is Dank U
Train Station is Train Station
etc etc

Basically, if you speak slowly and loudly in English, it sounds like you’re speaking bad Flemish.

Lipton Iced Tea

When I was in Portugal earlier this year (staying with another of Claires Uncles) I started drinking Liptons Iced Tea.. and it’s actually really nice.

When we got back to this country, they’ve started advertising the drink here.. I notice the advert everytime because it’s something I’ve actually drunk.. but not sure whether the advert would actually be memorable to other people.. so this bit may make no sense!

Basically, the advert (to the theme tune from Different Strokes) says “try something different, you never know, you may like it” and has the guy finding he likes stuff like mullets, older women, licking feet, and .. Belgium - where it shows him stood next to a cow.  (apparently Belgium is well known for having cows .. (hot cows - see earlier)).

So as I was in Belgium, I stumbled across a unique photoblog opportunity .. here’s me, in Belgium, with a can of Liptons Iced Tea, and a cow…

For added value the photo was taken in a hairdressers (linking to the mullet aspect of the advert), the hairdressers was owned by Ferdinand (who has some false teeth.. as does the older woman in the advert), and whilst I wasn’t licking feet, I do have feet.. also, whilst the different strokes theme WASN’T playing in the background, I DO have a photo of Gary Coleman (of Different Strokes) on the phone that took the photo (see earlier post about greatest photo ever).

It’s like an entire advert contained within a single photo - wow

Belgian Trains are Never late

We did the touristy thing on the Saturday and went to Bruge (or Brugger as the Flemish call it)
We were told by a number of people Not to be late for the train, as Belgian trains are Always on time.

We had to get two trains there, and two trains back ... every single train was late

“Step this way please” said the security officer with the rubber gloves.

We arrived at the airport in good time for the flight home, shopped a bit, sat in the cafe for a bit, then were late for our flight.

They even called our names over the tannoy I felt all special

So we had to run for the plane.. we got to security.. I set off the metal detector, so did Claire

I got sent back through, told to remove my belt and empty my pockets, so did Claire

I then got through no problem.. Claire didn’t

She got escorted to a side room, the curtain was drawn, and ... luckily (for Claire) rubber gloves weren’t needed.. they noticed she was wearing a metal bracelet .. they advised she doesn’t wear it again when going through metal detectors…

By this time I’d put my belt back on.. our flight was about to leave from gate 29 .. we were near gate 1.. we had to run..  Claire had her belt in one hand, and was holding her trousers up with the other as we ran ..

We made it.. just, although the girl on the gate frowned at me.

When 30 was approaching, I asked a lot of people who’ve already recently reached the age.. what’s different.

And the answer was always “nothing” and “it’s a bigger deal for everyone else than itis for me”

So .. now that I’ve spent a month being 30 (it’s kinda like being an investigative reporter .. “I’ve posed as a 30 year old for a month now, my detailed findings are listed below”)

Rang Sierra Games tech support people today for problems I’m having patching Tribes, typical extract from conversation:

Sierra: How long have you had the game
Me: About six years
Sierra: Do you still have the box?
Me: Yes
Sierra: Does it say whether it’s Windows XP compatible ..

!!

edit: note for non geeks.. Windows XP hadn’t been invented 2 years ago.. so how would a six year old box be able to comment on whether the product was compatible!

...really hurts

When I was at uni, I used to buy Banana Milkshake from the canteen every time I was in there (and as students, a lot of our time was spent in the canteen) (or the pub, but as pubs don’t sell banana milkshake, they’ll take no further part in this blog).

It started out as having one with my lunch, this soon led to getting one first thing before lectures started (or more accurately, as I was usually late for first lecture, I’d get one first thing, after lectures started).

It soon got to be a running theme, if we’re in the canteen, phee (not that I was called that back then) is drinking banana milkshake.

When I left uni I went cold turkey (not through choice, just through laziness, nearest banana milk seller too far to walk)

But recently.. on my way into work I’ve been stopping at the shop and buying banana milk.. it just started as “ooh I used to love those, I’ll have one now"… now it’s Every morning.

This morning I didn’t have change to buy one, so the shopkeeper let me have it on credit, this afternoon I went back in to pay him, thought it’d be rude not to buy something off him after him giving me credit, so bought another..

I am well and truly back on the downward spiral, 2 banana milks today, it can only lead to tears!

And just in case you’re wondering, no, banana milk isn’t a metaphor for something more serious.. I Really do mean banana milk.